This is a picture of me and Dominic, he brings SO MUCH joy to my life!
In honor of National Autism Awareness day (April 2, 2010), I wanted to share a little bit about autism, and how it affects my life. I married into the most incredible family on June 30, 2007. I received a husband who loves me, and has the biggest heart of anyone I know, a father-in-law who grew up in the Basque region of Spain, and can make a mean Paella, a mother-in-law who was truly a gift to the world from God, and 3 little brothers who are the most fun to be with! My brother in-laws, Gabriel, Dominic, and Yulen have all been diagnosed with autism. Gabe is now a real teenager, who is growing up to be quite a handsome young man (he is 13), Dominic is a vibrant, excited 11 year old who is considered non-verbal, and Yulen is a 10 year old who is as smart as a whip! Every single day with them is interesting, and nothing about it is ordinary. I have come to love these kids as if they were my own brothers, and as a member of my community, I just want to share their story with you.
My inlaws moved from Miami with Johan (my husband ) in 1995, here is my mother-in-law’s story about the boys’ diagnosis: “When we moved to Fort Valley, Virginia from Florida with my son, Johan, we never dreamed how dramatically the birth of our three sons would change our lives. Gabriel, 7, Dominic, 4, and Yulen, 3, are handsome and dark-haired, reflecting their Hispanic heritage. All three of them have autism. I did not spot autism immediately in my three children. The things that were wrong were very unique and different in the three of them. Gabriel’s disorder was not diagnosed until age 4, when a local doctor realized the reason for his speech and language delays. I was not ready to accept the diagnosis. When the doctor said autism to me, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.
Dominic’s diagnosis in August 2002, at age 3, came earlier. His development was “completely on target” until 21 months, when his baby brother, Yulen, was born. Then he regressed almost overnight. He stopped speaking all but a few words and for a while refused to look at him. We thought he was jealous. Later, when Yulen only said “mama” at 15 months, I took him in immediately for an evaluation and he was diagnosed as autistic in July. An average day for us can be challenging. It is difficult because of the children’s constant demands and difficulties in communicating and interacting with others. We have no relatives nearby to help out; one of us must always be with the children. The duties are endless and attention must be constant, since some things they do may be unknowingly dangerous.
One thing that still scares me is knowing my husband and I are going to die before our kids and there is no one to take care of them. So this is my goal: to make these children self-sufficient so they can live together as brothers on their own when we’re gone.” (http://www.agre.org/newsletter/agrenewsletter04.pdf)
This article came out in 2003. Since then, my husband and I have gotten married, and live quite close by. We help out when we can, and would do absolutely anything in our power to make life easier on our parent’s and the boys. The boys will always have a place with us, no matter what happens to my in-laws, but the reality is that Johan and I may not be here forever either.
The reality of the situation is that every day is a struggle for the people who have a diagnosis of autism. It is difficult for them to socialize ‘normally’, and it is also hard to bring themselves out of their own world. However, they try every single day! A victory is when Gabe packs his own lunch, or Dominic gets his own snack, or we go through an entire day without a melt-down. Change is extremely hard for people with this diagnosis as well, routine is very important. Although there is not a cure or reason for autism, I have faith that within my our lifetime, we will see some answers. Until then, it is important to get the word out there about autism, and recognize that everyone is different, but is put here for a purpose… Acceptance is necessary!
Linked is an article about autism, how it’s diagnosed, what it looks like (*although VERY different for each person). Early detection is key! If you suspect that there is something wrong with the way your baby reacts or socializes, seek help immediately. Although autism cannot be cured, early detection can help significantly with treatment, and has positive long-term effects. Please take some time to read the article attached, and look some information about autism up on your own. Today is all about awareness! Thank you for reading my family’s story!
The reality is, the number of people who are diagnosed with autism are huge,there are 14,000 children diagnosed with autism in Virginia alone… wow, but it is not personal to someone until it is… I’d love to talk to you more about it, and what you can do locally to help, or how you can better understand the people around you with autism.
Check out this article for some general info on autism:
http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/UVAHealth/peds_mentalhealth/autism.cfm
Please feel free to email me with questions, comments, concerns, or info on how to seek support, or help.
Lynsey Echaniz: LMEchaniz@yahoo.com
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